Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there no matter what motherhood looks like to you. No matter what season of motherhood you are in, you are a hero. You get kids dressed, get yourself dressed, provide wisdom to your child who is asking the same question for the hundredth time, command silence with a single stare, break up quarrels, feed everyone and sometimes this is all done before 7am! Even though we can do all of that and more, many times our children just don’t understand that what we do and sacrifice for them, is done because we love them and want to keep them safe. So on my second Mother’s Day I have created a list of a few things that I want my son to know about me and why I do what I do for him (these are in addition to wanting him to know that I love him very much). I have also asked other women on social media to share as well and I have included parts of their beautiful responses at the end.
I love God first and foremost above all else. I want my son to know that my relationship with God is the most important thing. I want him to know that if I can have a stronger relationship with God, I can be a better mom to him. I want him to realize that following Christ is a lifelong journey and I want him to watch me through this journey by seeing prioritize daily devotions, going to church, worshiping, helping others, etc.
I want you to know that I am not perfect and that I make mistakes. I want my son to know that I make mistakes. He does not need me to pretend that I am perfect because that is not real life. When I make a mistake I need to apologize and have an honest conversation with him. Why? Because this teaches him that we all sin but God forgives when we ask for forgiveness. It also teaches him how to apologize and forgive as well.
I want you to know that I respect and love your father very much. I want my son to know that the relationship I have with Ross is very important. I want him to see me respect his dad and love him. I want him to realize that building a strong marriage builds a stronger home for him. I want him to know that every once in a while mom and dad have to get away and it is not because we don’t love him, but it is because we need time to cultivate a stronger marriage. When our marriage is strong we are a team and together we can set an example of what a good relationship looks like. He will see the ups and downs but I hope that he always sees that mom and dad reconcile because their relationship means more.
I want him to know that rules and discipline are done out of love for him so he is safe. I want him to understand that rules are set in place not as a punishment to make his life miserable, but they are there to keep him safe and guide him to Christ. I want him to know that discipline means disciple and when I correct him, I am discipling him to grow into a wonderful man who loves God and others.
There are many more I could add but these are the foundation. I asked women on social media what they wanted their children to know about them and why they do what they do. Here are a few of the responses. I love when moms of all ages share their wisdom because I believe it takes not only a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village of strong women to help support each other.
“Growing up, I never had a desire to go to secular college, but while I was there I told myself it was for ‘my kids’. Going to college would benefit them because I intended to homeschool and I would be a better teacher for them if I had an education.”
“When I think about my reason to keep going, to keep growing, and to keep reaching toward better things, I think about ‘my kids’. In short, it boils down to love. They aren’t even here yet, but I love them and I want to give them the best I have so they can give the best they have to making our world a better place.”
“I do for my children and grandchildren because I want to leave them a legacy that I was a giver and not a taker. A humble, meek servant, not an arrogant overseer. Someone who is quick to help others with compassion and not pass them by with pride. A mother who leaves character in the minds and hearts of her children so they will pick up the torch and pass it to the next generation.”
“The character of a Godly mother will instill truths and values that will always be in the forefront of her children’s lives and in return, will pass it on to their children and to everyone they know.”
“I would like my son to see me as both soft and strong. Soft enough to be loving, hands on, playful and empathetic but also strong in who I am, what I believe and what I will and will not accept.”
“I also never want to be his ‘everything’. I think it is important for him to have interests and exposure to the world and people who serve as role models in his life other than me. Hopefully this will end up with him eventually developing his self confidence and strength with a strong sense of the world and his ‘home team’. It will also hopefully give him the courage to make his own choices and even though some choices will have consequences, it is my prayer that he will know that he will always be loved. I also want to teach him how to love but to also love with healthy boundaries.”