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Why I Quit Teaching When I Love Being a Teacher

Standing in an empty classroom yesterday all the memories, emotions, laughs, and conversations washed over me all at once. I remembered the laughs students and I used to have over the absurdity of the French Revolution and the many games of geo guesser we used to play on the days right before break. I remembered the discussions we would have over very serious things, but also the most random of things like what was the first pair of pants to ever be invented. I remembered the time a student of mine ate an entire flash card I gave him. Why? I still do not know to this day. I'll never forget in my second year of teaching two students deciding on my birthday to present me with a cookie cake they bought at HEB with their own money. They forgot how to spell my maiden name Crossno,

so they had the baker put a cross and then the word "no" on the cookie. It was so hilarious and to know that it came from these two young men who gave me such a hard time at the beginning of my first year was the best gift of all. We ended up building such a good relationship, that they actually came back the next year to celebrate my birthday!

As I stood in that empty room memories came to mind of the veteran interview projects I assigned to students. Still to this day that was the most important project and lesson students learned from me. Most of all I remembered the laughs and building relationships with students. Seven years I poured my heart into what I love; teaching high school students and getting them excited about History. I am not going to lie, standing there in that empty classroom I balled like a baby. Yes many days were long, and I did have my fair share of challenges, but it was the best job I have ever had. I built so many friendships with coworkers and I not only taught in the classroom, but helped with training other teachers and I built a career. This career had a purpose and I was being used by God every day to make a difference. My decision to leave was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I feel like I am grieving in a way something I have worked so hard at building. While I am going to continue to use my skills and teach again some day, more on that later, I know I will never have exactly what I had these past seven years.

So why on earth did I leave a place I loved so much and a job I enjoyed doing? The answer is simple. The call to motherhood was greater. Now please do not get me wrong, I know many amazing moms who work and are great at being a working mom. However, I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt like when I was teaching I was thinking of little O and when I was home I was often thinking about teaching. At least for these next few years until he is ready for kindergarten, I have chosen to stay at home. This decision did not come lightly and came after months of praying. I had already started thinking and praying about this in the fall of last year. I struggled with the financial side of me quitting and I wrestled with the mom guilt if I kept working. I have been an emotional roller coaster these last few months but my amazing husband told me he would support me no matter what decision I would make. As more and more things unfolded, I began to really feel like the Lord was showing me that it was time to close this season of my life and open myself up to a new season. Why is it so hard to leave a season and step into a new one God is asking you to move into? I have asked myself this countless times. What I concluded was fear of the unknown is what keeps us so many times from stepping into a new season. We get so comfortable with our present season, good or bad, because we feel a since of familiarity and control. Stepping into a new season requires faith. Faith that lets go of the control and the familiarity and says Lord, you take the reigns now and guide me. So this is where I am at. I have taken a leap of faith. I know the Lord will provide and I know this is where I am supposed to be.

I mentioned earlier that I am going to continue to use my teaching skills, after all, if I am planning on going back in a few years, I need to continue to polish my skills. Therefore, the Lord has already opened up a few opportunities for me to work from home part time. I have started a tutoring service online via Wyzant and Chegg. With the uncertainty of this coming school year, I have decided to open myself up to tutoring to help students who need assistance in not only history, but essay writing as well. Check out my websites here for these tutoring services and I have also been accepted to teach with Outschool. On this platform, teachers create classes from over thousands of topics and students participate in the lessons. Check out my first class listing here I am excited to be teaching on Outschool because I can teach classes over my favorite topics! Feel free to spread the word and while I am only qualified to teach history and essay writing, these tutoring services help with all subjects for students! They are great resources for those who are especially doing virtual learning or homeschooling this coming school year. I of course, will continue to create content for my online ministry as well through Purest Treasure because I also believe this is something the Lord wants me to pursue.

For all of you who have made it this far, I thank you for all of your prayers and support as my family and I enter into this new season! I will be back to teaching someday. It is in my blood and it is my passion. It is what I have been called to do. But for now, I feel like my attention needs to be more focused on the home and my family. In the end, that is the greatest calling of all.

Best mascot of all time!

My amazing History Club on year two!

The crew who joined me on a European trip one summer.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven."

Ecclesiastes 3:1

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